my war with an onion
as i sit here and attempt to force inspiration out of my head and onto paper i am taken to a place of comparison and what i think of is reaching my goals and the obstacles are like onions. now i know at this point you are analyzing all the possibilities of how and onion is like an obstacle. let me tell you about the onion and at the end of this adventure i will tie it all together by comparing the two.
first, like all great adventures, it starts with a great idea. and in this particular story it starts with an idea for dinner. now for this great idea i've got to cut an onion. so i've taken one out of the pantry and placed it on the cutting board. its a yellow onion with layers of papery skin and tufts of white hair poking out both ends. i can already faintly smell it from across the kitchen. ohhhh man this is gonna suck i can tell. but i think about dinner and its settled. onion you are goin down! i take a slow deep breath in ...... letting all the air out at once in resolution. i push up my sleeves, grab the waist of my pants and give them a good tug upward. i get my knife in hand stretch my neck preparing myself physically and mentally for battle. pointing the knife point at the seemingly innocent onion. my brain sounds the alarm telling me its now or never. "here i go!"
i grab the wily onion before it has a chance to roll away. its papery skin crinkles like wrapping paper under the pressure of my hand. oh man my confidence is through the roof! i got this no problem! "he he he you are mine little onion" i chop the top off one end and then the other. i can start to smell its potent fumes. as i tear its paper from the juicy flesh underneath it really starts to attack, its fumes threaten my eyes and nostrils. but its cool i knew this was coming i block its attack. i just rinse the onion under cold water as i finish peeling it. so far so good i place the naked onion on the cutting board and dispose of the defeated parts of the onion so they can no longer be a threat. my defenses are put on the back burner. "you don't scare me. i don't even know why i made such a big deal. he he im such a weirdy" i take my last breath of fresh air and go in for the kill. i chop the onion right down the middle. i grab one of the halves and begin to slice the onion as quickly and as accurately as i can in thin slices. its toxic fumes are now assaulting me! i persevere and grab the second half and begin chopping. its worse than i thought. the burn in my eyes is so strong i can hardly keep them open. i attempt uneffectively to blink back the tears and the burn but my lungs are burning, im suffocating. the onion is winning. retreat!!!!! i fling myself blindly to the sink with such force and pain my knife flies from my hand and clatters into the metal sink with a loud clang. it is a startling noise but its music to my ears, it means i have made it to safety. i can't see, the damage to my eyes is too great so i fumble clumsily around for the faucet. i flip the lever and the cold rush of water is like ambrosia from the gods and i greedily propel my face in its sweet relief. in the first relishing moment i its cool, clear, the heavens part and the angels sing! in the moments after as my nerves relay the message to my brain of the ice cold shock i jolt out of the water sputtering and blinking back the haze and i am back in the kitchen. i take a few quick breaths and as warmth returns to my face so does the memory of the onion and my current defeat. i know i must finish. still blinking tears from the pain of my foe i search through the fog and find the soap. once clean of the poison and the burn has subsided to a sting i know i'm strong enough to go back in. the voices are telling me to run, save myself, cut my losses and just make some mac and cheese for dinner. but my gut is telling me fight back, show this onion who's boss. what should i do? i scan the kitchen for answers, and what do i see but sliced mushrooms and butter waiting patiently by the stove. thats it! i remember why i started this in the first place. the thought of dinner hot and ready to eat is just what i needed. i grab my knife from the sink, take a deep breath and say my last goodbyes in case i don't make it and charge into battle. i grab whats left of the onion before it has a chance to retaliate. i slice furiously with the might of 10 chefs. the onion isn't going to give up that easily. it releases the brunt of its force on me, it burns. but my resolve its stronger than its poisonous gasses. before i know it it the onion is fully chopped and sliding into the pan with butter and mushrooms. "ha ha ha aha ha ha ha" i am laughing victoriously with an exhausted delirious ring.... shock of what i have just done sets in.... but as soon as the salty caramely smell of the sizzling butter hits my nose all the pain and struggle begins to melt away. as i pour the concoction of carmalized mushrooms and onions over the top of a hot juicy steak sitting next to a steaming baked potato i know with out a doubt this is gonna be sooooo good. taking that first salty savory juicy bite all thoughts and memories of todays war and injuries are gone as if it never happened. all evidence of the battle are devoured as i savor every delectable bite.
so in conclusion i realize what it really takes to reach my goals. it takes an idea and a go
get em attitude. once i have those i get into action. i know its gonna be challenging with obstacles, onions, and as i go through if i have my goal in sight i know that no matter what, it will carry me through to the end.
i know that when i reach my goals despite the onion it is gonna taste frickin awesome!!!!!!
