i have finally figured out what it is i want out of life and i can see the path with such clarity it takes my breath away. all the while scaring the hell out of me. the anxiety is almost unbearable but there is no way im gonna let that stop me this far into my life.
up to this point my two biggest obstacles have been boundaries and the ability to choose in.
i had the bad habit of waiting till the last min to decide pretty much everything. and 9 out of 10 times i would wait so long the universe would inevitably decide for me, force me down a default path so to say. reading it out loud that seems so terrible but it had its pay offs. the biggest of which was i always had something to bitch about and i never had to admit that my life was shitty because i made a bad choice, the universe chose for me. and as far as boundaries go i never trusted myself enough to hold the line. what i heard people saying and what i was feeling were so different and i would allow them to logic me out of my feelings. how could just a feeling trump reality?! i am here to tell you that feelings always trump logic 100% of the time. however i believe that is sort of a paradox. if you feel it, it is reality. if it is reality you feel it. so why not make your reality feel the way you want.
i am choosing a life of peaceful love, passion, and light. so in order to have that i am holding myself within the boundaries of using only peaceful love, passion, and light. i am also holding those in my space to those same standards.
my ego is telling me to erase this entire post and start over with something people really want to read. but that is not what this blog is about. it is about telling my truth as i see no matter the consequences. it is my dream that this one small step will add to the momentum of my life.
so here it is and here i am.
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